Thursday, June 20, 2013

Solo Trip


My marriage hasn't ever been a huge part of this blog. When all of this online world has seemed full to overflowing with loving relationships and supportive partnerships, couples who have each other's  backs, two-person teams shovelling the gritty stuff together at the coal face, I've found myself tongue-tied and with little to contribute.

I've presented to you a joyful world in which beautiful, happy children frolic in the fresh country air, eating fresh-baked delights and wearing mumma-made clothes.  I've leapt out in pursuit of creative fulfilment, trying to turn business dreams into reality. I've taken lots and lots of pretty pictures. I've thrown humour at it, used big words and neatly constructed sentences. I've tried to give you something of myself without ever giving you the truth of it.

That truth being that my marriage has failed and I've walked away. I just can't do it anymore. I don't want to do it anymore.

Tonight is the third night in my new home, and the first without my girls. I'm a single parent now, but I'm also a part-time parent. And I'm not sure they've invented the words yet for how that reality makes me feel.

And yet, and yet...

My marriage hasn't ever been a huge part of this blog and I'm pretty sure the end of it won't be either.  It'll continue to be me and my girls, just painted with different brushstrokes. They're far from the ones I ever imagined back on that shiny white-dress day. But it's our story now. It's my story now.

And I'm going to make sure it's a bloody good one.



Thank you for your beautiful comments of concern after my last post, and to those of you who contacted me via email to check up on me. I am OK. I am surrounded by incredible friends and the unwavering support of my family. I have deep faith in my own resilience and a relentless optimism that rarely lets me down. I promised my babies that everything is going to be just fine, and it will be.

44 comments:

  1. Greer love to you and your beautiful babies... I'm afraid that I don't have eloquent words to say that all will be OK. I have faith it will be but in a different kind of way from what you may have envisioned. Be kind to yourself lovely lady :)

    Sophie xo

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  2. Oh, Greer, this is sad news indeed, and yet I know from personal experience that good can and will come from it. Except my sons were adults. It still affected them but they also wondered why I did not leave years before. Youngest son and his partner split just before Christmas and I can see he is better off.

    That said, it is still sad and I I think you may find you are a part time parent in one way, but the caring and thinking about the girls will still be full time, even if they are not with you full time.

    Take care of yourself and never turn down any offers of support. These things take a lot of energy to deal with.

    Brief comments are hard to write and many things sound trite. I wish you and your family well as you move through this time.

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  3. Oh Greer, my heart sank reading this.

    Go gently, I'll be thinking of you and your family.

    I don't know what else to say except I'm sorry... I hope the transition into this new, evolved lifestyle goes as smoothly as possible for you and the girls. xx

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  4. Take care Greer. I wish you and your girls all the best. Im x

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  5. Greer I know you know I've been thinking of you often. Right now reading your words, reading your first night without the girls, I feel very sad... I can't imagine what it must be like to write this, much less go through what you're going through. I hope it helps you to have an extra circle of support online and I hope it helps you to share your story. The more you write about your faith in your resilience and positive attitude, the better. I know writing helps me to cement things and creative self-expression can be therapy in itself, so you keep doing what you're doing. Much love to you x

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  6. Oh, I'm so sorry Greer. My heart goes out to you. Your strength and honesty only give me more reasons to admire you. Wishing you all the very best. Take care. xx

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  7. Dearest Greer - with massive hugs and all the goodness in the world, take care.

    Nina x

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  8. Much love to you Greer. I know you know I've been thinking of you lots but I don't think I can say it enough - I really admire your courage right now. Mel xxx

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  9. I hope you and you're girls are doing ok, much love to you Greer. xo

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  10. Oh Greer, I feel so very sad reading this post. Not for the marriage part as you sound like such a strong woman with a great support network, but for you being without your girls... I can't imagine how difficult that must be. Sending you much love and strength as you get through this tough patch xx

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  11. I wish I had words for this. I am grateful to have found you on the internet, to see the depth of your love for your girls and your ability to capture beauty (which means you must first find it and see it). So my heart breaks a little bit for you, even though I am continents away and have never actually sat down for that cup of tea with you. Still, I am sending you love, prayers and thoughts of strength and hope nad joy found in unexpected places. xo

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  12. I am sad for you and yet I know you are strong and life will treat you kindly. My sister was a single parent and she found happiness being alone, finding love with someone else and the wonders of a supportive loving family. I hope the same happens to you. You are in my thoughts.

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  13. I think we all know the online world is so very different from the real world.
    You have given us truth...the beautiful truth of how much joy you get from crafting and cooking and of course of how much you love your girls.
    I can't imagine how you are feeling...especially on your first night without your girls.
    But I think you are very brave and I have no doubt that your story will be amazing.

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  14. i'm so sorry honey. this could have been my post, had i been blogging 20 years ago. my heart hurts, my eyes fill with tears. my mom used to tell me everything is going to be okay. i always like to believe in that. i send you endless hugs and love.

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  15. Love to you Greer. I know you're going to rock this new life. You'll be happy, and a happy Mama is what your girls need.
    XO

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  16. Sending you lots of love Greer. It does get better, you sound strong. And brave for putting this out there. I have been in your shoes. At the moment everything probably feels strange and hazey. But there is light, I promise xo

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  17. They may be different brush strokes, but they are still yours. Life is not all glossy and clean, sometimes it gets messy. But in that mess there is still joy.
    I know what it feels like to miss your baby when they stay at their Dads. Your arms feel empty. The best thing is to keep busy, create, do, see. Take it as a time to remember yourself.

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  18. I wish you all the best, Greer. I've only known you a short time, and only online; so as you say, it's a skewed view; but you have inspired me with your blog and your obvious love and passion for your children and your photography. It's good you have loving supportive people around you. xx

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  19. I am so sorry to hear what you have been going through. May your draw strength from those who love you and that your new path with your girls be one that is filled with lots of laughter and good times. That this chapter has closed but that another one starts and may it be a wonderful one. Take care. xxx

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  20. So sorry you are going through this rough time,a friend told me "sometimes things don't happen TO you they happen FOR you, what are the possibilities now? " that attitude helped me through some bad patches.
    I found the first 12 months tough, but then you think "I've done this for a year, we will be just fine"
    Good to hear you have wonderful support, it really helps....Good wishes for your new little family.

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  21. Blessings on you Greer. Your resilience and relentless optimism certainly do shine through in your writing and photography here. May they continue to serve you well in this next chapter. Love to you and your girls.

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  22. Oh love how I wish I could reach over and give you a huge hug right now. xxxxx

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  23. Honest, raw, melancholy and full of hope at the same time. I wish you and the girls the best on your journey as new doors are sure to open.

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  24. Thanks for your honesty. You continue to inspire.

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  25. Oh I feel a little heartache for you! So sorry, you'll carry on that's for sure!

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  26. Greer, your strength and love for your children is inspiring. Your honesty and rawness is honorable. Your story, and all the new chapters that are beginning are sure to be your best yet. We will be thinking of you! Sending you lots of virtual hugs from the other side of the world x

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  27. Thinking of you and hoping things are ok....

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  28. Oh Greer, you lovely lady...I am sorry that you are going through this. You are a bloody inspiration, although you might not feel like one right now. Your girls are amazing and will give you strength you didn't know you had. Thinking of you and sending hugs. xx

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  29. Greer, a very cold wet, grey day here in Sydney and probably colder down your way, I guess. I see a lot of us who have commented here have been through this experience. Sending you virtual hugs, comfort and encouragement on this winter Saturday.

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  30. I applaud your courage Greer. Wishing you comfort and ease in your transition x

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  31. Such a difficult time, Greer. There are no words, really, for your experience... it is different for every person, every parent... I used to be a family law solicitor... go very easy on yourself, ask for help if you need it... things may get worse before they get better... seek good legal advice if you find it becomes necessary. My thoughts are with you. xo

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  32. Ah shucks, sorry to hear but sounds like you're through the bits that require the hardest decisions and coming up the other side. Glad you shared it and your thoughts on how to share it. None of us can claim to have to rosy, easy lives, I dare say, and the kind of things we share and don't share on our blogs are for each of us to decide. Best wishes. Truly.

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  33. Good luck Greer! You're so brave, and you're right, everything will be fine! Big hugs, Col x

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  34. You are a brave, wonderful soul and an excellent mama and you will be just fine, like you know you will. Lots of love xxx

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  35. So well said, Greer. I'm feeling so much reading this.
    You're so right about your story - it'll be a bloody good one, for sure. Kellie xx

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  36. I have followed your blog for a long time, having 4 children of my own I fully understand your ups and downs each day. I have had separation in my life, this being my second marriage- all I can say is "one day at a time" with your precious babies, its does get easier. You are a wonderful mother and will make anywhere your home.
    X Sue

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  37. It's so good to see you back. Life will heal, and is often so much stronger when it does! xxxxxxxxxxxxx

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  38. Greer, I am only just catching up on this sad news. My mum left my dad when I was three and from the age of five I would fly solo to stay with him for long stretches of school holidays. Only now as a mother can I imagine how hard that was for her to do. You are a very involved and connected mum and your girls I'm sure will adapt and grow into their new life, I hope your friends and family keep you strong. mel x

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  39. I don't pretend to know what you are going through, but I am thinking of you during this emotional period of adjustment....
    Ronnie xo

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  40. I'm sorry Greer. Wishing you and the girls loads of strength and happiness x t.

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  41. I've just been catching up with blog reading, I'm so sorry to hear this news, but you will absolutely make this story a good one, I know it.
    Be kind to yourself, go slow. You and your girls will have a wonderful journey.
    Colette x x

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